we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
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