we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
