went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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