i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
