she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Randomize