If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
