and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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