So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
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