Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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