i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
