Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
