Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
