the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
