This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
There's always time for handjobs
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I woke up under a house in Key West
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
