even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
