As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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