I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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