She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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