I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
