Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
