its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
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