this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
