apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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