Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
