As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
