just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize