im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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