According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
