I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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