At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
