Duck Duck Cougar?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
