I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
