I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
My dick has a subreddit
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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