Only a mothe r could love this liver
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
