okay pat passed out under dana's car
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
