I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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