; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
