Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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