The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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