Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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