just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
