At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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