i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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