I'm going to jail i love you
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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