What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
