CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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