My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
