I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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