he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
