Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
