Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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