I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
