I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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