was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
