I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
