True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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