I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
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