Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
