My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
