Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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