I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
